Dear Black Hair

You are amazing. Unfortunately, it took some growing up to fully realize and appreciate your beauty and uniqueness. You stand out with your different shades and textures. You can be styled in countless ways that involve heat, chemicals, braids, ponytails, or more simply, water and conditioner.

I remember growing up, getting you washed and styled every two weeks. It was a fine-tuned routine, and it felt practically like a sin not to have such a routine. The regime consisted of shampoo, conditioner, blow dry, and styled in braids. My sister and I went through this routine religiously until we graduated from middle school. I remember being jealous of my sister's hair growing up. It was longer and less course than mine.

I remember the envy watching my sister go straight from a blow dry to cornrows while I sat getting a press before anyone could “run a comb through my head.”

I remember hating the part of the routine that involved combing out kinks and naps. I remember feeling like I was tender-headed when combs yanked through your coarseness.

I remember getting older and learning how to braid which, is something I still pride myself on today. Once I learned to cornrow, that's all I wanted to do. Until I learned to braid you on my own, I would braid my sister's hair every two weeks. I remember the phase of braids and beads.

Even though many of my classmates wore the style, it was still my favorite style in middle school. I found so much joy in going to the beauty supply store and picking out different beads for each style.

I remember going to high school and not wearing braids anymore. As my sister and I grew older we did not have to get our hair done by our mom, aunt, or each other anymore.

I remember my mom taking us to the hair salon every other Friday night for a wash, blow dry, and press and curl. I remember loving how you looked pressed, soft and straight. I loved you but hated being in the salon for hours, sitting around restlessly with the only alternative being talking to my sister or doing homework.

I remember loving that I had a stylist who tended to you regularly, who made sure you were pretty and healthy. I remember loving your length, and how your thickness transformed with heat. I was crazy back then, facepalm, and put heat in my hair damn-near every morning before school. That’s before I discovered the beauty of pin curls.

You are strong and resilient. Even after being damaged, you find a way to come back strong.

While I hated that my sister and I were the only young adults in the salon, I remember loving the environment. We were surrounded by Black women who were kind, educated and entertaining. They caught up with each other through stories and laughs, leaving few dull moments in the place. I remember comparing my experience to the portrayals of salons in movies and the similarities made me smile.

I remember going to college and getting my first relaxer. My stylist was nervous about giving me one, but my mom had relaxers my whole life and was an advocate for them. I was used to my biweekly press and curls but that would no longer suffice while I was away at college. I certainly wasn’t in the mood to experiment with stylists away from home either, so I needed something that would be more manageable for me.

I got the relaxer and overall things went well. I still get relaxers to this day and continue to be amazed at how you grow and conform to certain styles.

You can be altered in so many ways and look magnificent. You can be cut, colored, and braided. Extensions, weave, and wigs and cover and protect you, but that doesn’t take away from your unbeatable versatility.

Black Hair, you are unmatched and again it sucks to admit that I had to grow up to fully appreciate you. You are Black History.

Thank you for being with me for all these years, remaining strong, healthy, and course as ever. Thank you for helping me understand what beauty and uniqueness look like, and for helping my confidence. You’re a trendsetter and I’m happy to have you.

Though you've been with me for years, I'm still learning you and creating new routines with you. There are still so many styles I want to try with you. The hair journey never stops and that's something I look forward to.