No Such Thing as a Free Meal

The other day at work, I decided to leave the building to get some food for lunch. I had Taco Bell on my mind and their crunchy supreme tacos with hot sauce. There are a few ways to get out of the building to the employee parking lot. Instead of walking through the dim warehouse, I decided to walk through the showroom where customers were shopping.

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I work in marketing for a retail store, and unfortunately the marketing department/office is located in the back of one of the multiple brick and mortar stores. It's not very spacious or fancy, but at least I have my own cubicle and desk. My personal space isn't very fancy either, no framed photographs, faux plants, or any personal belongings for that matter.

I read an article once that discussed why we shouldn't decorate our work desks, stating that work is a place to work and not a place to be “comfortable.” Supposedly, being a little uncomfortable at work helps maintain work/life balance by making you want to go home at the end of the day. "Decorating at work would blur the lines too much. There is no need to be reminded of home while at work."

While this isn't the reason, I left my desk bare for the past seven years, but I totally understand the logic. On the other hand, I could see why people would want to be a little comfier at work by surrounding themselves with personal things.

There are two doors leading in and out of the office. One leads to the warehouse. I like walking through the area because it's for employees only and offers quiet sometimes. Other times it's filled with noise from the techs working on machine. The second door leads to another office where the receptionist, store manager, and sales manager work, before leading to the store's showroom. I like walking through the showroom because it's the quickest way to the restroom, water dispenser, and parking lot.

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That being said, with tacos on my mind, I walked the shorter distance to my car. Sometimes when walking through the showroom, I exchange pleasantries, and even small talk on occasion, with the customers. Rarely seeing black faces in the establishment, I'm always happy to interact with them. Sometimes I run into repeat customers/familiar faces and exchange pleasantries with them too.

As I passed the last customer service counter before the showroom ends, I made eye contact with a customer, a black guy. He waved. I waved back, and continued walking. I had almost entered the employee only area leading to the timecards when he spoke to me. I stopped and took a few steps back so I could make eye contact with him again. He asked if I was headed to lunch. I said yes.

He offered to buy me lunch and I thanked him as I moved closer with my hand extended. He knew I was waiting for cash to be placed in my hand and told me that he didn't have any cash on him, just debit or credit cards. For that reason, he needed to drive me to the restaurant to get the food. He promised to bring me back to work.

I declined his offer for a ride, ultimately declining his offer to pay. Nice gesture, but I already had the means to get where I needed to go and the money to buy what I wanted. Most importantly, I wasn't comfortable getting in a car with a stranger for a free meal that would cost less than 10 bucks.

Once I reached the door to exit the building there was a short walk to the employee parking lot. As I walked to my car, a white pickup truck pulled up next to me and stopped. I looked over and it was the man who offered to buy me lunch. His window was rolled down and he asked if I was sure I didn't want a ride to get some food. I told him yes, I was sure and thanked him again for the offer.

He said, "I bet if I was driving a Ferrari, you would change your mind." And drove off.

I let out a little laugh as I continued walking to my car. I bought my tacos and enjoyed the rest of my day, thinking of the free lunch man occasionally.

While slightly amused, I was a little disappointed in his response. I'll never understand why some people seem to take offense to certain things. I'm aware that people don't like rejection, and I'm included in that group of people, but that doesn't mean you have to have a negative reaction to the rejection.

Sometimes you just have to take the L without having the last word or trying to offend/hurt someone because that's how you felt in that moment. The person doing the rejecting may not even have the intent to be offensive so it's unfortunate if it comes off that way.

I know plenty of people who have faced multiple Ls, myself included, but tried to remain in a positive headspace and moved forward. Sometimes you learn and grow from certain losses.

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Regardless of the gesture, why would a woman have 100% comfortability getting into a car with a stranger? Why would she feel safe? Why would she have any reason to trust that man to take her to her desired destination and back to work? Why don't men think about how off-putting and potentially intimidating that can be?

Growing up, we've been warned about stranger danger, don't talk to strangers, don't go off alone with strangers, etc. Honestly, I still carry that with me as an adult. While I understand that the only way to make a stranger less of a stranger is to engage with them, there are ways to meet new people without making her/him uncomfortable. I've met strangers who I've felt comfortable around, but on the flip side I've met strangers who have made me terribly uncomfortable.

"I bet if I was driving a Ferrari, you would change your mind."

I'm not really sure what to make of that comment. For starters, I didn't know what kind of car the man drove when I declined his offer to buy me lunch. Little does he know, that really did not matter to me. I would not have gotten in anyone's Ferrari, Caddy, Benz, Tesla, etc.

Would this man have preferred to be wanted only for the material things he could provide? Is that all he thinks women care about? Does he feel like women look at him as less because of the material things he doesn't have? Unfortunately, that sounds more like a personal problem for dude to work through.

I came across an article a while ago that discussed ways to overcome difficulty with writing, writer's block, and writing daily. I like creative writing, and the article suggested writing about events that happen in real life to get the juices flowing. So in an effort to free write and blog more, I thought I'd share.

Maybe I'll turn this into a short story and explore a scenario where a woman accepts an invite for a ride from a man. Will she make it back to work? Or maybe the woman declines the offer like me but is stalked and harassed as a result.

That's why I love creative writing, you use your imagination to tell stories and there are countless avenues to take your writing so stay tuned for more.